This is a strange ‘sensation’. What perplexes me most here is how a few weeks away can influence my perception of my online activities so much. For a person who loves research and access to information as much as I do why would I now consider walking away from it all? Pondering this I can conjure three possible (and interrelated) motivations for this new attitude:
1. Deluge: being bombarded relentlessly with all sorts of information, updates, emails and comments is becoming increasingly hard to accept. It is simply no longer possible to read, respond, answer and/or engage with all of the bits and bytes showering my inbox and google reader on a daily basis. I was off the grid completely for about 10 days and I had 800+ new emails waiting from me – 200 of which were relevant and interesting enough to warrant engagement.
2. Inauthenticity: with the little time I have to freely interact with people on the net I find it increasingly difficult to have authentic communications, conversations and exchanges, let alone develop personal relationships. One of the main reasons I started spending so much time on the internet in the early 90’s was to be able to communicate with people who shared my interests, wherever they may be. As a frequent user and abuser of early chat rooms in my 20’s I met a wide range of often wonderful (but sometimes insanely maladjusted) people who shared my passions and interests - and who taught me so much on so many fronts. Accept for a few low intensity acquaintances this rewarding aspect of my online participation is now almost non-existent.
3. Incompetence: very much related to the first two problems, I believe, is my growing concern for the quality of my contributions. As time constraints limit my capacity to properly think through certain issues and then construct and review my posts I become frustrated by the lack of depth and clarity in what I write. I have so many concepts, arguments and original thoughts swirling around in/as my psyche yet only less than an hour a day to formulate and craft them into anything approximating an intelligible offering. I’m a person who thrives on transforming insight into praxis so constantly missing the mark in this regard is torturous.
In addition to a personal drive for quality it is also becoming harder to keep up with all the interesting posts and productive discussions happening on my favorite blogs/websites (see the sidebar list titled ‘rhizome’ for links to some of the best blogs in existence). This is increasingly frustrating because I feel compelled to weigh-in on the issues but usually unable to do so. If I take the time to read such posts (as I usually do) I’m then unable to respond. Moreover, I haven’t even been able to produce the bare minimum of posts and responses I’ve committed myself to generating - as evidenced by my lack of participation in the Integral Ecology reading group.
As a result of these difficulties I’m now reconsidering my future online. Seeing as though I’m unwilling to sacrifice family time, unable to decrease work responsibilities, or limit my activist involvements, and as I’m learning to embrace the necessity of sleep, what role can blogging and online activities have in my life? How does the (post)modern citizen bridge a full and rewarding life with an authentic and stimulating online presence?
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17 comments:
I only recently discovered your blog, so I would be sad to see you go. But this post pretty much sums up my feelings exactly on the frustrations with online life these days, so I completely understand. My attention is too divided, too distracted, and consequently, too shallow. Most of my interactions seem to be more along the lines of commiseration (like this) than offering anything new or challenging in my own right, and that leaves me feeling restless and useless.
As for suggestions - I have none. My best solution is to try to combine my online life with my professional career as a writer. But that attempt has its own baggage, and so far I don't think I've done very well at handling it with any kind of grace.
Perhaps this is just the pitfall of an online medium that's been wrangled into the service of making us better consumers instead of better (and more creative) producers. Most of my online time leaves me feeling heavy and bloated, which not only saps my energy so that I feel too drained to be creative, and but leaves me questioning if I really want to contribute to someone else's fatigue and distraction through my own writing, anyway!
When I reach that point of self-chastisement, I usually turn the computer off and go for a walk in the woods. ....Like now.
I'm always walking away from the blogosphere, it just doesn't meet most of the basic requirements of real human interactions, including conversation, not enough time not enough embodied presence. That said I obviously consume my fair share of blogging but I think it is better as a kind of exchange of leads/insights and not so good for working things through. I can't imagine trying to blog, as a commenter I can engage blogs as a treat for getting other things done and be on my way. Do what works for you that's more important than whatever this is or isn't.
peace, dmf
Hi Michael, I know you've had a slew of blogs, but I only read this one - and definitely value your thoughts. No need to post regularly, only when you have time and something you want to record. Don't worry about 'chatting' or responding to all the grad students who seem to have endless time for discussions! Go into a "Shaviro mode". Whatever you decide, thanks for all the time you've spent. Best, Mark Crosby
@Alison - I think you get right to the core Alison. I feel spread too thin. I wonder if part of my problem is i'm an info junkie? It might be better if I go deeper with less breadth rather than try to take too much in and remain shallow with my interactions???
Thanks for your thoughts.
@Dirk - problem is, for me, this site (and its previous incarnations) is the only space I really have for "working things out". This site was first a collection bin for interesting finds, quotes, etc. (hence 'archive'), then later developing into a place where I can set 'fire' to ideas, concepts, readings, and the like, via public thinking and expression.
I'm not sure I would remain interested in online content if I didn't have a place to 'process' it...
@Mark - thanks for the kind words Mark. I have likewise always appreciated your comments sprinkled throughout the theory-blogosphere.
I'm not saying I'm gonna give up on blogging totally at this point, but i guess we'll see what I decide to do (or not do) in the next few days...
Thanks again for your comments, and readership.
I have long struggled with not having people in my work life to think things through with, find a better perspective, but philo-blogging exchanges tend to be too broad and and often too superficial, not getting to the heart of things, to differences that make a difference.
maybe just limit yourself to this blog and see if that focus brings more depth to your experience/interactions, and if not...
-dmf
pls feel free to email me if that's a better mode of exchange, the privacy/specificity tends to flesh things out a bit as more related details/contexts are possible.
@Dirk - thanks. I think streamlining my activities would help. Still thinking it through.
Greetings! I came here by way of Blckdgrd.... The past few years I have found myself becoming a seasonal blogger. I'll do most of my work from the late fall into the early spring. The weather gets crappy and it gets dark out early, so I'm more likely indoors anyways. It's a perfect time to be in front of a computer and drawing board.
I'll still participate the rest of the year commenting occasionally, or posting pictures, reposting old cartoons, etc, but I find blogging much more rewarding if I limit the information before it reaches overload proportions.
maybe something along the line of trying to practice a case of Rabinow's anthropology of the contemporary, as a way of bringing focus/depth, is there some issue that you are working on/thru?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGywEGyJog&feature=player_embedded
dmf
I often feel the same, Michael - thus my frequent lapses from blogging. I've learned in the past few years that time is precious, and there is never enough to do all of the things that I want to do and all of the things I have to do. That said, I do waste a lot of time - online, but also, unfortunately, watching TV. If I didn't watch TV as much as I do, and instead used that time to do something productive (i.e. write papers, build relationships, exercise, and even write thoughtful blog posts) I think I'd be a lot happier with myself. Not that I don't do those things, but I could do a hell of a lot more.
For me, blogging is a part of being productive and I'm not quite ready to give it up. I really value the philosophical discussions I get involved in through my blog and on the blogs that I read. It keeps me on my toes, keeps me engaged in thought, and helps me find new things I wouldn't otherwise encounter. It's not for everyone. Some people have a strong network of close friends nearby who provide the same benefits I've just described. Unfortunately, where I'm at now in schooling and in life, I don't have that resource nearby, so I depend on the internet to provide that for me. I would definitely prefer to have active discussions with people face-to-face, but that's just not where I'm at right now.
I've been lazy lately. Not really, since I worked my ass off in July to get an NSF proposal written, but more than I would like. I'm going to try to remedy that this Fall.
I'll read what you write as long as you keep it up, and perhaps one day we'll get to talk in person.
yeah, but at least people leave comments here. zero comment after zero comment makes you feel like you don't even exist. I'm not saying I think strangers out there owe me comments; I recognize they don't, but it still gets to me.
@Zencomix – Welcome! I suppose you are right about seasonal influences, I write a lot in the fall and winter as well, as I live in a place that regularly gets 4 feet of snow in the winters.
I think I concur with many who have commented here and via emails when they suggest I find a prudent way to limit the information flow as opposed to walking away from all of it. Keep what is essential and discard the rest. Sounds about right.
@Dirk – I think the problem is that I’m not getting to “working through” anything because I need to spend so much time managing information and content coming in I can’t stop to go deep into any one issue or projekt or generate my own content. I’m fairly convinced that I need to eliminate several of my online activities and incoming data-streams in order to focus on just 2-3 main online interests – blogging and being more involved in the speculative realism circles perhaps to start with?
@Jeremy – Thanks for weighing in Jeremy. The more I think about it the more I realize just how much I enjoy blogging when other online distractions are removed. I’ve blogged since blogs were invented, so to give that up would feel like quite a loss I think. There are a lot of ideas I need a space to explore with.
And yes, I would be fantastic to meet in person someday. If I’m in your area I’ll let you know.
@Mike – this site was commentless for a long time Mike. Don’t take it personally, most readers are lurkers. If you want to get them involved ask your readers questions directly. People love to give options when they know prior that they are welcome.
Where do you blog?
PS-don’t be a stranger yourself. Weigh-in anytime.
Sennett on taking one's time, attending to craft, valuing quality:
http://www.mefeedia.com/watch/25053601
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